i know exactly why i'm feeling so meaningless these days. two things, just these two things. one is my studies. though i'm more or less set on doing science first then trying for graduate med sch after that, i'm still absolutely depressed over this matter of studies. about the what-could-have-beens. it's sad. two, is something i always keep to myself. i'm very closed over this basically. and i figure that's why i'm a failure at it. somebody save me.

i logged in to find that i have nothing to write.

hi. just woke up, have to do seom stuff lah. and i'm the first one up! then, i was the first one to sleep too.. haha. sian not looking forward to the day at work, honestly. hope to get like half day off or something to go home rest.

this series is proving to be so exciting. i mean first 4 games were totally home-sided. then Game 5 was decided on a trey with like 5 sec left. with pistons winning Game 6, the series swings back to san antonio for the final most important one. i really like piston's first team man, and totally admire their defence. come on, if you hold others to 50+ points, that's just plain good d. billups, tayshaun prince, hamilton, rasheed and ben wallace. good team. the thing is that san antonio isn't bad at all too. cool. i'm not rooting for anyone actually. explosive stuff in Game 7.

you can be depressed, but not for too long please.

i want to be there when you need someone to talk to. but. look, all i can say is sigh. hey, i'm feeling a little grouchy now. doing my second duty, two nights in a row. so which means two days without proper bathing. makes me so much like a real soldier. geeh. though i'm feeling a little sick now. i need a break. preferably one to hong kong. haha. i dream, that's all.

"For he spoke and stirred up
a tempest
that lifted high the waves.
They mounted up to the
heavens and went down
to the depths;
in their peril their courage
melted away.
They reeled and staggered
like drunken men;
they were at their wits' end.
Then they cried out to the
Lord in their trouble,
and he brought them out of
their distress.
He stilled the storm to a whisper;
the waves of the sea were hushed.
They were glad when it grew
calm,
and he guided them to their
desired haven.
Let them give thanks to the
Lord for his unfailing love
and his wonderful deeds for
men."

today, i mourn the death of my dream. my friend, please help me get through this.